Lucky Threadz

Lucky Threadz

Posted on by luckythreadz

Lucky Threadz was founded in 2006 and is run by these three dudes and some chick who keeps our fat asses in line and has a seemingly endless source of funds for bail money. Are they still behind us? Cool. Anyway . . . At Lucky Threadz, our goal is to serve as a shining immaculate bastion against all that is cute and non-offensive. We also have an uncanny prediliction for consumption and stand behind our motto – “Just one more, I swear.” We have an in-house pre-op transsexual who we let out for parties and who supplies us with our astonishingly clever ideas. Our manufacturing facility is based out of the great state of Colorado and run entirely by midgets. Although we are an Equal Opportunity Employer, we hire only Midgets (no Dutch people either) to allow us to further our fantasy of running a child-labor sweat shop. We keep the heat set at about 90, except in the winter, when we shut if off all together.

All of our designs are vectorized using the latest technology including a Mac IIe computer and a construction pencil. We plan on implementing crayons as soon as we can find them. Our facilities are housed in my Mom’s basement and powered by a 110 volt wire we found sticking out of the wall. We keep a full time electrician on hand who we imported from El Salvador who uses a combination of spit and chewing gum to keep the connection live. If that little fucker reaches for the rubber gloves again, I’m gonna shit and if my Mom tells me to turn the music down one more time I’m gonna go up there, I swear.

Since that’s over with, lets meet the crew…

Mike aka “I’ll be right back”

Mike grew up in his Mom’s basement and resides there to this day. When Mike is not in the shop doodling or making sure there’s Japanese porn in the break room, he enjoys driving around slowly and Middle Eastern cooking. Mike still tells the story about how he almost got that one girl’s number but ended up as a mule farmer in Tijuana instead. As soon as he gives those bastards the slip, he’ll be right back here in the shop making t-shirts with a really cool look on his face and wearing shoes he borrowed from some dude named Tim who’s always hanging around.

  • Favorite Food: 99 cents Cheeseburgers
  • Favorite Song: White Gurl – E-40
  • Favorite Movie: Scarface and The Muppets Take Manhatan
  • Favorite Color: Clear
  • Favorite Quote: “One born every minute.” and “How much can we get?”